Send a self-addressed, stamped envelope, along with the name to use to personalize the bookplate, and I’ll send back both the bookplate and a business-card-sized bookmark! What a great deal!

Normally I’d say here, “Supplies are limited!” … but really, they’re not. I’ve got a ton of these things and enough black Sharpies to cramp up my hand until the middle of next year. So, send those SASEs on over!

Linda M Au
PO Box 133
New Brighton, PA 15066-0133

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You don’t have to be a wife or mother, as I am, to identify with the stuff in this book. You just have to know a wife or a mother. That’s close enough.

I’d love to say that everything in this book is completely true . . . or that everything in this book is completely made up. Either way I’m going to be in a boatload of trouble with somebody. So, to keep from being lynched in the restroom of the local craft store, let me assert with unabashed honesty that everything in this book is as true as it needs to be in order to be funny. When starting each of these essays, my goal was to exaggerate when necessary to keep the humor up around belly-button level (because belly-buttons are funny).

Imagine my surprise to find out just how little I had to exaggerate once I really got rolling. These people I grew up with and hang out with and live with are just naturally funny. Well, from a slight distance, anyway. They just don’t know it yet.

Still, I’ll leave the specifics of exactly which parts are true and which merely further the cause of humor up to you, dear reader. Because nobody I’ve mentioned in this book is going to admit to anything. Not without a lot of coaxing and a cashier’s check.

So, now that the legal garbage is out of the way, just who do I think I am writing this stuff? A little background: I was raised in the sixties and seventies by a mother who drove a Fiero in the eighties and listened to Pink Floyd and a father who drove a pickup truck and listened to Johnny Cash. Somehow, all that genetic material added up to me.

Me? I drive cars old enough to vote and listen to “Weird Al” Yankovic. I know, I know. It doesn’t make sense to me, either.

But I take hope for the future of our family—because my kids drive nicer cars than I do . . . and listen to Pink Floyd and Johnny Cash.

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Head in the Sand is NOW available on Amazon.com!

Head in the Sand: … and other unpopular positions

To order this:

Go here:  https://www.createspace.com/3447459

For those of you who don’t see me in real life, information on autographed bookplates (free if you send a self-addressed, stamped envelope) is forthcoming . . .

My Facebook Fan Page

I got the proof copy in the mail yesterday. There are some color issues on the cover that the cover artist and I will work out on Monday, and then we try a second proof copy. Looks like the book will go “live” on Amazon.com by the end of this coming week. I’ll be sure to post a good direct link here (since going through my link helps me out even a little more—without costing you anything extra).

Till then, dear fans, post all your gushy goodness on the Facebook fan page or here as a comment. I love comments!

The book’s in final layout stages this week, with all files heading to the printer by week’s end, even if I have to insert an I.V. drip of Maxwell House and use those coupons for a box of Depends. (The two things work together, of course.) So far, that hasn’t been necessary, but the week is young, so again, no wagering.

The problem with letting an entire season go by without updating one’s blog—even if one did have good excuses and lots of commiserative hugging and head-nodding—is that one finds approximately 5,327 unmoderated spam comments dangling on the proverbial dashboard. Give or take several dozen. Apparently C!alis, lisinopril and Russian spam are all quite popular. (I couldn’t read the Russian spam, but I think they were trying to sell C!alis and lisinopril.)  I buckled down and did my cyber-spring-housecleaning here (which was far easier than trying to do any actual spring housecleaning in my actual house). And now that the book will be available for sale within a few short weeks, it’s time to dust the place off and get rid of the blogjam from which I’ve suffered since the beginning of the calendar year.

It’s also time to crank up some Sponge or Vigilantes of Love music and get back to work. I’ll sound the general alert as soon as Head in the Sand is available for order on Amazon.com (with a direct link I’ll post here). Let’s get ready to rrrrrrrrrumble!

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 You’re about to find out.

(A collection of humor essays . . . Available in June 2010 from Amazon.com)

The story’s not done yet, but I hit the NaNoWriMo monthly goal of 50,000 words. Somehow I managed to get enough writing in even during that final week—which included Thanksgiving, a trip back to my home town for a class reunion, and time with my girls—to fall across the finish line around 8 p.m. on November 30.  I’ll pick the story back up in January, along with two other novels that need some serious revision. I’m thinking 2010 will be a year of revision and editing rather than more new writing (aside from finishing the 2009 NaNo). Time to get these puppies out there in the world!

In other news …

KINDLE UPDATE: ONE YEAR OUT

I’ve had my Amazon Kindle for about a year now. I’ve tried to make note of any book-buying patterns that have changed since getting the Kindle. And, as you might expect, there are some:

First, when I see a book I’d like to read/own, I see if a Kindle edition is available. Usually, there is. Assuming there is a Kindle edition, I then ask myself a series of questions about that particular book:

1. Do I need to have it immediately? Like, really immediately? 1 vote for the Kindle edition. (Available in about 30 seconds.)

2. Is it available only in Kindle and mass market paperback? 1 vote for the Kindle edition. (I hate mass market paperbacks—hard on the ol’ eyes.)

3. Do I want the physical copy taking up ever-dwindling shelf space in my house? 1 vote for the Kindle edition.

4. Will I want to lend the book to anyone else in the future? 1 vote for the dead-tree copy. (Still not possible to lend Kindle books, which doesn’t really bother me. I don’t lend out books all that often anyway.)

5. Will I want a first edition copy or a hard copy that the author might someday autograph? 1 vote for the dead-tree copy. (Still kinda hard to autograph the Kindle edition of a book, which goes without saying, although apparently I said it anyway.)

6. What is the price comparison between the two editions? If all other variables are not relevant, then 1 vote for the cheaper edition, if it is a LOT cheaper. (Sometimes Kindle editions are oddly high-priced, even near the price of print editions, and this puzzles me, since I so often hear about the high cost of paper, ink, and book production in general.) 

Let’s use a book I bought just this morning as an example: Robert Sawyer’s Flashforward.  Trade paperback edition: $8.51.  Kindle edition: $7.99. 

The prices of the two editions are unusually close for a book that’s not a current bestseller. Which one did I purchase? Going through my list of questions, I decided that I didn’t need the physical edition of the book taking up room on my shelves. I also didn’t see myself lending the book out, and I doubt I’ll run into Mr. Sawyer while carrying a copy of the book, to give me the opportunity to get it autographed. Plus, I was extremely curious to start reading it … soon. Like, right now.

The Kindle edition won, and I had the book on my Kindle before I could get across the room to pick it up.

In the past year, I’ve found the Kindle to be indispensible for traveling and for leisurely reading in my wing chair at night. Having just purchased Stephen King’s 1,000-page Under the Dome in first edition hardcover (the Kindle edition isn’t due out for a few more weeks), I was immediately reminded of two of the Kindle’s best features: It’s easy to prop up and read without the weight of a large book or the annoyance of the pages flipping backwards if you shift in the chair. And, the adjustable font size is a balm to my eyes (having recently been diagnosed with ocular rosacea as well as the omnipresent chronic dry eye). And, if I’m not done with King’s tome by the time the Kindle edition comes out, I might purchase that edition too just to continue to read in more comfort. And yes, I know that’s precisely what the publishers want me to do. For some authors, such as King and also Diana Gabaldon, I’ll keep buying first edition hardcovers no matter what. The Kindle editions are merely icing on the cake.

A year later, I’m still buying print books—probably too many for my own good—but the Kindle has given me options for many of my future purchases. All told, I’m buying more book content than I did pre-Kindle. And I know I’m reading a lot more than I did a year ago. Happily so. For hours on end when I  can manage it.

And that can only be a good thing.

Everybody’s a comedian. And I hate playing straight-man.

Ignoring snide, sarcastic, rude comments from otherwise loving, caring, nurturing friends, I have forged ahead into the second half of the murky waters of National Novel Writing Month. The novel is progressing nicely. Characters are divulging secrets to each other. Some are finding dead animals in the trash. One completely disappeared into thin air. Yet another made a second pot of coffee.

Yessir, things are really flying now. I can’t wait to see what happens in the second half of the month. Why, some of them might accidentally order a steak medium-well, or forget to add fabric softener to the rinse cycle! The mind reels with possibilities! No wonder I look forward to November each year—when the creative juices are flowing like, well, like sludge. Yes, that’s it: glacial floes of marvelous literary sludge, direct from my over-caffeinated brain into my fingertips and out the keyboard of choice for the day.

The good news is that Café Kolache gets more business from me during November than they do the whole rest of the year. So, that’s good news for them, at least.

On a Side Note: I’m writing in the afternoons this year, and saving late evenings for reading instead. I was chugging along steadily reading through Diana Gabaldon’s newest in the Outlander series, An Echo in the Bone: A Novel (Outlander), taking my time because, well, it’ll be halfway into the next decade by the time we see another book in the series. Then, last Friday, Amazon delivered Stephen King’s newest novel, Under the Dome: A Novel. I was curious, so that evening, I thought I’d take a peek at it before diving back into Gabaldon’s book. More than 125 pages later, I looked at the clock: 2 A.M. Ever since then, I’ve been using sheer force of will not to throw caution (and laundry and grocery shopping and personal hygiene) to the wind in favor of reading this marvelously gargantuan tome. I suppose, in its own way, that’s as succinct a review as you’re going to get.

What are you reading? I have an idea: Instead of giving me recommendations for reading material (I have plenty to read!), give me recommendations of books to AVOID. That way, I won’t waste my precious reading time.

And Now, Back to Our Originally Scheduled Program, Already in Progress:  I may be behind on my personal word count goals, but I am doing just fine by NaNoWriMo standards. See?